Springtime in the Bluegrass

Yes, dear readers, after the winter that wouldn't die, it appears that spring has sprung here in Northeastern PA, and a prettier place is hard to find when the monumental amounts of dog poo, leaves and other organic trash has been removed from the back lawn, the deck furniture is spiffed up and the barbecue refurbished.

In fact, we enjoyed a little deckage yesterday, ribs slow cooked and some achingly cold non-citrus-flavored carbonated adult beverages of a Canadian persuasion. Today in school all I saw was thirty kids and a teacher all of whom had wistful thoughts of the weekend past.

The season is beginning to heat up; only a few weeks until our ChickenFest, a celebration of all things chicken. Last year I got some folks a tad annoyed when I claimed that no chicken would be harmed in the production of the event, which featured chicken dishes, a Frank Perdue look-alike contest, chicken dance competition, chicken-chunkin' with rubber chickens,and the perennial favorite, the rubber chicken make-over contest, which was won by a local cafe that had a chicken waitress that looked like a hooker.

I wonder sometimes about our judgment concerning judges, which I suppose makes me unfit to judge myself because I am too judgmental. I guess the jury is still out on that one. Anyhow, when I said no chicken would be harmed, I put that in there because I didn't want anybody to think we were tossing live chickens around. Now I'm not saying that it's wrong to do so, mind you--that is up to you and the chickens, I suppose. It's just that I wouldn't recommend it in broad daylight with a thousand people around.
That's just bad form. So, no lie, it was only three days after my chicken tribute ran in the paper that somebody shot a letter saying, in effect, that you couldn't eat chickens without harming them, which is true, to a point.

I wanted to write back and tell the lady that we only permit the serving of suicidal chickens, but times being what they are, I am sure that would have annoyed a whole new set of people, so I had to be content to remind the lady that chickens were originally bred as fighting animals, that even as we spoke they sacrificed their lives, their eggs and their blood to provide us with food, flu vaccine and protection against bird flu and the West Nile Virus, and that it was an insult to the chickens for a mere vegetarian to defend them, chickens of course being carnivorous.

Yeah, I know you don't think of them that way, but all I have to say is that if there were 50 foot tall chickens in the neighborhood we wouldn't be going on many walks, if you know what I mean. And before anybody gets their knickers in a knot about "poor defenseless chickens," all I have to say is that those folks never spent much time around poultry, which are about the most irritable critters I've seen since my son tried to paint the cat the other day.

Still up in that tree, btw, but we think he'll be down soon.

Yessir, the world is a new and fresher place in the springtime, and it's only a matter of a few months until several marvelous things happen: school will be out, festival season will be upon us, and the sweet sounds of strings will enliven the air.

So I hope you all get to join the Ramblers and other guests at the ChickenFest on May 20th in East Stroudsburg, right by the train tracks, it runs from 10 till 5 and our side of it is free. Rumor has it that a train is coming down from Steamtown up Scranton way, and there will be train exhibits as well, cheap food and expensive women, and several local watering holes nearby that specialize in ice cold beverages.

So happy spring! Watch the doggie doo!